Lies, and the Lying, Souless F*ckers That Tell Them

This week in Politics:

As the ongoing battle over healthcare continues, the White House is attempting to switch gears and might be in the process of drafting their own version of the needed legislation--something the Obama administration had, to this point, avoided, due to the failure of the Clinton White House's effort back in 1994.

As Mike Lowrey would say, "Shit's about to get real."

You see, the longer the healthcare debate rages on, the more entrenched the GOP has become as a resistance movement; they don't have to fight a battle on the same terms, they just have to throw it off track. They're kind of like the Vietcong or Taliban in that way. You keep tryn' to go heads up with em', and they keep right on kicking you in the testicles.

Example? Sure.

The sitting President of the United States, as part of his administration's effort to reach out to children and encourage commitment to education, resolved to deliver a personal message to kids on what will be the first day of school for a huge number of districts around the country, Tuesday, September 8th.

So you know what the Repubs did? They compared him to Stalin. They accused him of attempting to indoctrinate children to his 'socialistic' (fascistic? communistic? zionistic? mormonistic?) political philosophy. They made sure every red-stater and Glenn Beck viewer knew that this time he's going after your kids, and this is where we draw the line.

Damn. Didn't see that coming, did you Arne Duncan?

No, wait, I'm still working toward the punch line.

You see, the people accusing him of this--Beck, hard-liner senators, Rep. Such-n-such in the House--they know it's insanity. Nobody with any vague grasp of Washington politics would truly be able to believe something that retarded-crazy (...maybe Michelle Bachman).

This is just how you play the game.

The strategy looks like this: (step 1) Sit down with a couple conservative buddies and some Jack and Coke (or coke) and see who's fevered, alcohol-fueled dreams produce the most insane, pants-shittingly scary visions about our Black Liberal President, up to and including noting his secret plans for murdering grandparents, opening slave camps, and creating a school-age Obamarmy. Voice those visions to all. (step 2) Note that you can't prove any of those things as true, but that the prospect "has you nervous". (step 3) Sit back and wait for the Real Americans (middle class-to-poor white folks) to start freaking out about how they're losing they're country.

Game. Set. Match.

See how we just completely forgot about the healthcare thing? Or how normal it should be for an accomplished scholar-president to wish students well?

Do you keep thinking about how insane it is that we can convince ourselves to send our soldiers to die on foreign soil fighting an unprovoked war, but can't agree to stop allowing insurance companies to rape us raw and kill our poor?

Welcome to politics with the Grand Old Southern Caucasian Folks-Party (Goskfuhpuh) out of power.

Man up, pussy.